My name is Otis Hackett and I’m running for president … no really! Sure, I know politics are a taboo subject for trade publications and social gatherings, but folks, we are in trouble here!

I think that it is incumbent upon us all as responsible citizens to change the government when it no longer serves the needs of the people. What ever happened to that old "by the people, for the people" theory, anyway? Now it looks like a matter of buying the people.

Some of us naively think we live in a democracy. Some of us think we live in a republic. However I honestly think we are about to be taken over by a free market government — the world’s most insidious form of government!

A free market government turns people from what they were designed to be, human BE-ings, into human DO-ings. If this invasion continues and is successful, it will render us all human BUY-ings — a low-level life form, mindless and obedient.

We have a true responsibility to the human race (a race of human BE-ings) to help them resist the invasion by remaining human beings. Our weapon of choice is of course, the motorcycle and the proliferation thereof. Our fortress is the powersports dealership wherein we stockpile our ammunition and train ourselves to fight this sinister enemy.

The enemy is everyone that’s trying to get us innocent and unassuming humans to simply buy non-motorcycle stuff we don’t need. And they’re winning too! Don’t believe it? Look in your own attic, your basement, the back of your closet where the junk is kept — the stuff you haven’t seen since the last time you moved! It is both the evidence of and the residue from the battles that are being won by the invaders.

My hat is officially in the ring … no really. Pardon my pontificating, but somebody has to do something. And with the announcement of my candidacy out of the way, let’s get on to what the heck all this politicking has to do with selling motorcycles (you knew there was a connection here somewhere, didn’t you?).

We meet people who are committed to spending a given amount of money on a discretionary purchase. They’re spending money that is often referred to as discretionary income. However, we are being told by the enemy that it is disposable income — money they’re throwing to the wind. Synonyms for the word discretionary include: optional, flexible, open and unrestricted. Disposable, on the other hand, can be defined as: throw-away, not reusable, casual, incidental or even non-refundable.

I think human beings are looking for things that allow them options, flexibility, openness and a lack of restriction. That is to say that they’re looking for ways to use their own discretion (say to buy a motorcycle?). Disposable things, or disposable purchases for that matter, are generally things that waste, or throw-away, time, energy and money.

As purveyors of powersports products, I think we have an awesome responsibility to the human BE-ings to help them acquire things that will help them do what they’re designed to do … which is to just … be.

We win the battles when we get away and exercise our minds. We give our customers the same options when we help them make a decision to use discretion and not dispose of their hard-earned spare time. Remember discretionary income does not mean disposable income!

Also note that we seldom ever get more than one shot, and one shot only, to help people spend their discretionary income in such a manner that it will serve them well in their desire to be human beings. My sole motivation behind this particular rant is to remind us all just how important it is to do all that we possibly can, when we get that rare shot, to maximize that opportunity.

Let it be our platform from which to perform our public service to the race of human BE-ings.

Speaking of public service, look for me on an episode of the evening news in the near future. I’ll be the one ranting from the rarified air of the soapbox, pleading for dealer rights (hey, it makes more sense than some of the "professional" politician’s platforms these days). And remember to vote for me when the elections roll around — I dare you!